Hey. It sucks, and it hurts. If I’m being honest, it’s a little scary. You’re on your own now. Whether you have separated, recently divorced, or know it’s coming, it’s never easy. I knew I wanted a divorce for at least two years before I did it. The mind races with horrendous scenarios of only the worst outcomes. But although you don’t see it right now, I am here to tell you (man to man), that you are going to be okay. In fact, you’re going to be better than okay. You just need to look at this in the right light. You get to write this chapter. Sure, there will be obstacles and pitfalls along the way, but this is what makes it exciting.
Get Your Fire Back
Remember back to your younger days when you didn’t know shit about the world but were ready for it? That excitement and that rush, chasing a dream… Here you go, this is it. Let’s build back who you are! You’re the MAN, and you got this!
Assess The Damage
Here is where divorce really hurts. Most likely, you’ve lost the house, and you may have to pay child support, etc. This is where you have got to let it go. It sucks, and it’s life-altering. My apartment when I moved out was tough, but it is what it is right now. You get to rebuild. Let her keep the house with all those negative memories, and you rebuild. Again, I know this is hard, and it can be more than irritating, but it’s over and here you are. Make the best of this. As corny as this sounds, your attitude is going to make a huge impact on how you move forward.
Reorganize
Okay, it’s time to start over. Here’s a list to get you started:
- Budget: You may have to drop the carwash membership and/or some streaming services. It’s okay, I promise you will miss these times of struggle.
- Plan Meals: It is so easy to do nothing but fast food, but for your health and bank account, plan some home-cooked meals.
- Mind/Body: Even if it’s a quick stretch in the morning to start out, make time for your mental and physical health. A quick walk, standing desk, meditate, etc.
- Sober Up: There is an amount of time to drink/smoke your problems away, but they ain’t going anywhere so you need to deal with the issues at hand and you need to be sober for it.
Plan
This is the fun part. What do you want? Not what is best for anyone else, what do you want? A house, savings, a new career? Whatever it is, take the steps to get there.
This is your time again. You are in the driver’s seat again! This is an exciting time, and I hope this site helps you on your journey in some way.